(h) bitter waitress

i had a pretty fucked up day. the thing w/ training a new waitress is that you can't really be bitter. or at all. i gave fair warning tho. "you need to prepare yourself for... uncomfortable situations. and if someone touches you, and you don't want to be touched... you say something, like don't touch the waitress. and try not to cry, really, it won't help anything." she was terrified. they keep hiring girls w/ no serving experience, girls that are so fucking innocent and nice... i looked at this alix today and thot, my god you're gonna be broken. poor girl. most of the regulars were laughing at me, b/c i was finally forced to be nice and kinda accommodating... they all loved it. i guess i'm not the only person that sees myself as a bitter waitress. the funniest thing was after my little speech about what she had to prepare herself for, she asked me how long i've worked there... i told her. then -'you must have fun here, or else you wouldn't be here anymore' to which i replied, hesitantly, the moneys really great. then! i thot to myself, it really was one of those days, that i was so tempted to just quit. and the reality is, i'm sitting on a little money right now so i could totally do it and secure something else later. as if i will but it's so comforting. week 3 of full time is on the better side of grim. really. i must have fortitude! in any case i'll be cushioned for when i go postal.